Favourite sayings, quotes or philosophies What's yours?

[Camping Grant]

Not sure if they've been posted already but I do like:

Ned Kelly - Such Is Life

Martin Luther King Jnr - "And when this happens, when we allow freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual:
                Free at last! Free at last!
                Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

On some idiot trying to do something: He couldn't find his way out of a wet paper bag with a set of instructions.

When going to the toilet for number 2s: I'm off to see Edgar Britt
or: I'm off to drop the kids off at the pool

About feeling good: Weather Fine/Track Good

About being hung-over: Half pace today

[Kameron]

Does a one legged duck swim around in circles?

Just goes to show you dont need a long neck to be a goose....

To a mate who is piking out of something -> Would you like to borrow that spare set of balls I have out the back?

To a mate who is whining and moaning -> You must piss sitting down...



He who speaks does not know...he who knows does not speak.

You see only with your eyes so you are easy to fool.

[Gonewalkabouts]

.

[D4D]

My boss used this one yesterday when we were getting a little pedantic 'you are trying to circumcise mosquitos'

[morgue]

There are 3 sides to every argument, Your side, Their side and the Truth.

[dno]

Same mother, differant father...

[craigtempo]

Thats the most unheard of thing ive ever heard of .

Craig

[TroyE]

s hit tins of/full (lots of)

[morgue]

Same mother, differant father...

An add on to that is.."looks like she jumped the fence!"

[darren]

every one in the world is a f**kwit except me...

[D4D]

If it sounds too good to be true it usually is

[GSK33]

Oxygen Thief

[Kev.]

Just remember in this world you are unique........ just like everyone else !

[Johnno convert]

Pick a window, your leaving!!
There's a bus leaving in 5 minutes, be under it.

[ralphedward]

Same mother, differant father...

Ahh, my favourite - My mothers other son.  Me - I don't have a brother!

[Camping Grant]

What to say about someone who's not very attractive:

1) Nothing a paper bag wouldn't fix
2) He/She has a head on it like a beaten favourite

[D4D]

Good from afar, far from good
A blocker - she looks good from a block away

[Vince]

For those who think they can sing...

"You should be on stage...there's one outa town in 5 minutes be on it"

[Johnno convert]

Hiding behind the door when the brains (change this to suit situation) were handed out were we??

[Patr80l]

Money isn't the root of all evil.   25.807 is.

[Johnno convert]

Been chasing parked cars... and catching a few. (bulldogs and other flat nosed critters)

[fergus1247]

For anyone who is renowned for not joining/continuing a shout 

You must have a long skinny d**k, coz you're a tight fisted wanker.

[carinya]

On the threat of dehydration,  "  my skin is cracking ".

On intelligence/ lack of,            " he's dumber than a box of rocks ".

On ugliness,                            " looks like his head caught fire and someone put it out with a rabbit trap".
      and                                  " name's butterface.   Nice arse, but her face!"
                                              " name's Edna.  'Ed 'n her like a horse"

   further to previous:-

On organisational skills,         " couldn't organise a root in a brothel with a fist full of fifties and a box of chocolates".

On excess masturbation,     " he's beating it like it owes him money"

On complete uselessness      'never a better retrospective argument for abortion"


             

[HEM19X]

For anyone who is renowned for not joining/continuing a shout 

You must have a long skinny d**k, coz you're a tight fisted wanker.

On Shouting, "Call him Whisper...Wouldn't shout if a shark bit him"

[MattNQ]

stolen from another forum....

The difference between knowledge & wisdom;

Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit
Wisdom is knowing not to serve it in a fruit salad