Aussie Expresions that make us laugh

[woolgoolgaoffroad]

Back in a sec.... Just off to bleed the lizard

[oldmate]

Built like a brick s**thouse

[oldmate]

Seen better legs on tables

Pass us the " dead horse"

[Marschy]

How do you like your steak?

Knock off it's horns, wipe it's @rse and bung it on a plate.

[D4D]

How much can a koala bear

[jayjay]

Not the brightest lamp in the street......
also
A few cents short in the dollar

[RallyDog]

That will go down like a brick and tiled glider
Dog eye (meat pie)
as useful as a hip pocket in a singlet
give him his old job back (looking for another job)
mutton dressed as lamb
Eat the crutch out of a low flying duck

[DannyG]

Going off like a frog in a sock

In more trouble than a pregnant nun

[RobM]

How are you going?  - I'm fine as frog hair

[Bullant4x4]

Tongue a*se

[oldmate]

Gunna hit the frog and toad

Not the sharpest tool in the shed are ya

[RobM]

Couldn't pull the skin off a custard.

[Swogjb]

About as smooth as a one armed taxi driver with crabs.

[Supersi]

Handy as an ash tray on a motorbike

[GeoffA]

Not the full bottle...
A few handshakes short of a wedding...
A few sandwiches short of a picnic...
A few 'roos in the top paddock...
His lift doesn't go all the way to the top...

[Bullant4x4]

Fair suck of the sauce bottle

[oldmate]

More than 2 shakes is w**k

[berlitza]

gotta head over there to drain the dragon

[GeoffA]

As full as a family po'...
As full as a Pommie complaint box...

[RobM]

or
syphon the python
point percy at the porcelain

[speewa158]

You blokes have a few kangaroos louse in the top paddock
Sharp like a bowling ball
Face as plain as an eight day clock
Ugly as a hat full of Ar$e oles
As full as a Boxing Day $hyt h0u$e
couldn't get a beer in a brewery
Couldn't get a F)(% on an aircraft carrier with a fist full of $50s
About as much use as a fart in a Bean Factory


Keep they rolling  ,,, its all good                         

[nab]

wats a madda wid you, eh? ahhh shaddup you face

[builder94]

As dumb as a bag full of hammers
Face like a twisted sand shoe
Face like a half sucked mango
Call him milo, cause he just ain't quik
You can't polish a turd ( but you can roll it in glitter)
Could not organise a r**t in a brothel
So lazy he would sh$t in bed and kick it out with his foot
It is like trying to pick up a turd from the clean end

[KIMBOPRADO]

Hit every branch on the way down the ugly tree

Put a lip lock on the love muscle 

[gec]

better than a slap in the face with a wet fish

off like a brides nighty.