Aussie Expresions that make us laugh

[aussie9]

salt ?   
[/quote]

Sh!t


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[JPH]

Being in the building trade I use a few of these quite regularly!

"Sometimes you've got to p1ss with the d1ck you've got"

"Flat out like a lizard drinking"

"Busier than a one armed bricklayer in Baghdad."

"Trying to polish a turd"

"Flash as Michael Jackson"


Great thread guys!

[grafy82]

That's as silly as a bum full of smarties.
It'd put a horn on a jellyfish.
Couldn't fight your way out of a wet paper bag.

[Bullant4x4]

Are you Ok mate.

Well doesn't make you laugh but should be used often.

[edz]

Hangin around like a stale bottle " O" p*ss
That blokes the reason why incest is illegal
That blokes a Koala " A dopy useless protected species ".
Go take a long walk of a short pier
Bussier than a Blowie at a BBQ

[terryo]

As Ugly as a hat full of Ar$& Holes

With the best ones taken out.

Where did you get that from?
Pinched it off a blind fella when he wasn't looking.

[speewa158]

Shiffty as a5h1thouse Rat
More front then Myers               

[Barrabart]

You look like you were eaten by a dingo and sh!t out over a cliff!!!!!!!

[bobnrob]

Whiney kid...it's not fair

Response...neither's a blackfella's bum!

[fishfinder]

as camp as a row of tents
bald as a badger
does the pope wear half a beanie
dry as a nuns -****
dont open you wallet moths will fly out


my farvourite
YOUR SHOUT

[Nomad]

Wouldn't shout if a shark bit him.

[Mangrovematt]

Sweating like a gypsy with a morgage

[Barry G]

Whiney kid...it's not fair

Response...neither's a blackfella's bum!

A mate of mine is a solicitor and a keen cricketer.
Was defending a bloke who was a bit of a 'hard case' ( another fine old Ausie term) in the Broadmeadows Magistrates Court a few years ago. 
Don't know the specifics, but the general thrust was that he was a bit stiff to be charged, but was probably going to be found guilty.
My mate knew the 'Beak' fairly well, so ran this line.
"If it pleases the Court, I'd like to cite the Gary Sobers left leg defence."
Ok, says the Beak, I'll bite, "What is the Gary Sobers left leg defence?"
"Well, your Worship", says my mate, "it is neither right nor fair."
According to my mate, his client got a fine and no conviction!   

[Homerj]

Wouldn't pull a sailor off his sister.

[edz]

Howa they hangin Knackers
Long streaka pelican sh*t
Looks like a kangaroo dog trying to balance on a ping pong ball
Wax heads [ surfers]
Bangs like a dunny door ina wind storm
Gets around like creepin jeezus
Scarier than ya grandmother

[ako]

When someone cuts the queue to the bar :

'Do I look like an effing statue?'

Or for the lazy person who asks for something nearbypassed to them :

'Are you effing arms painted on?'

[pinarelloman]

For the shooters out there...
Roof rabbit- cat
Have a Dingos breakfast- a pi$$ & a look around.

[edz]

Musta went to the dunny when tha brains were being  handed out.
doin the oofty ma goofty.
She's  a "  Malvern Star  " .

[speewa158]

  Malvern Star 

[edz]

He needs to go to the sh*tter an grow a brain .
Looks like a pr*ck with ears on it
gotta head that looks like a Vee Dub with tha doors open

[speewa158]

Got a Great Head for Radio
Last time l saw something that ugly it got flushed

[scarpsD40]

This might be a Canadian phrase (well they are kinda cousins) that makes me laugh

[dales133]

Crazier than a sh*thouse rat.

Not the sharpest peanut in the turd.

Up the buwai shooting pukekos (not sure where he is)

So hungry I could eat the arse out of a fly blown sheep.

Mad as a meat Axe

Bent as a two Bob watch...



Couple of kiwi ones to throw in the mix

[Snapman007]

Fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down

[edz]

A wing wong for a gooses bridal
Ya ning nong
Bloody Drongo
Turd burgler
Ya ningcompoop
A blind man on a galloping horse would be glad to see it
Would do the same for any blind man and his dog
Runnin around starkers
I'd give me left nut to have a go O that
Toe'y as a roman sandle