I'm ashamed of myself, but just didn't know what to do....

[Jeepers Creepers]

Last Saturday, i nicked out and bought some take-away for lunch.

The ol girl wanted a burger with the works and i got fish and chips.

So, back home and we start mowing through our lunch. I'm eating at a fairly solid rate, but ol girls into it like a pig in a slop bucket, until.....

About a 1/4 of the way through her burger, she started choking with a hunk of food stuck in her throat.
She's trying to bring back up the bit thats stuck and i yelled, don't do it on top of a perfectly good burger.

By now, i've started to realise, she's really choking and i have to admit, i didn't know what to do.

You see, she's worth $500,000 dead and this would be perfect, as i wouldn't have to fake anything. 
I was torn, i thought, hmmmm, go outside and mow for 30 minutes, come back in and go....OH MY GOSH, SHE'S DEAD.

Now, the big drawback with this, would be if she had managed to clear the food on her own.
It's not going to go to good for me i'm thinking, but $500,000 is $500,000, no matter how you look at it.

The other option, was to help her, so with its head shoved over the sink (By now, the red face was starting to turn blue), i whacked her a few times on the back, before doing a version of the Hind-lick manouver (Can't spel for krap) and we dislodged a dirty big hunk of bacon, burger meat and big long bit of soft rind.

After a few glasses of water and her saying what a top bloke i was for saving her, she still managed to finish her burger.

Now, later that day, i did score a root to top off the day, me being the hero and all that.   

But a week in now, i have to ask the question, have i shot myself in foot to the tune of $500,000?

I've cried myself to sleep each night ever since wondering what could've been.

Brand new kickarse 4WD.
Retire from work.
the list just goes on.......

[berlitza]

lmao ,pretty expensive root         

[Tjupurula]

Obviously you have not told her yet, you can type and you are still breathing.
Tjupurula

[DannyG]

I can't believe you just said that, I want to think your just kidding.

Fancy missing the opportunity to grab 500 grand, you goose!

[Black Diamond]

Shame on you JP, how could you think of doing such a thing. Keeping her alive and kicking is just plain wrong ....
Your conscience is getting the better of you now go see the Doc

[Jeepers Creepers]

Obviously you have not told her yet, you can type and you are still breathing.
Tjupurula

Oh, she knows what my thoughts were..... even she said i blew my big chance.

She even said to me,
"i'm suprised you didn't get the photo album and starting flicking through it on the sink, so i could see my life flashing before my eyes"

I did tell her that she had a lot in common with Greg Norman though, cause he was a choker too. 

At least she can see the funny side of it, which for her, is i missed out on $500,000.

[fishfinder]

Now you have posted this the insurance scouts will catch wind and mrs jeepers creepers will now be a potential risk for them so the policy is now worthless, a big loss on your behalf.

[FNQBunyip]

My beer wench gos pretty hard on the fang too , might have to up the policy for just such an occasion


cheers 

[kylarama]

Now that the cats out of the bag, may I suggest your cancel your insurance policy for your own safety.
That awkward moment when she she gazes into your eyes while sitting at the dinner table and says "eat up honey".

[edz]

Jeesus Jeepers you are one lucky lucky son of a so and so ... " that your missus cant read "..LOL.

[GeeTee]

Sooo... a double bacon and cheese burger for lunch today?

[MrCruza]

Obviously you have not told her yet, you can type and you are still breathing.
Tjupurula

ROFLMAO..   

[McGirr]

So that  sexual pleasure cost you $500,000. 

Mark

[Jeepers Creepers]

So that  sexual pleasure cost you $500,000. 

Mark

Yeah, bit like the ol "BP Pick a Box" when the host use to say.... "Money or the Box" trust me to pick the wrong one.
With $500,000, i could've got a couple of rentals to come over........ and over..... and over..... and over......

[muzza01]

hey JC, can you tell me where and what type of burger to buy?

[Bushman]

Wouldn't that have been $500.000 less Funeral costs 

[gruesome]

Jeepers
You bring a tear to a blokes eye, but I don't know if its from laughing or missing out on the cash
Cheers Andy

[hargs]

I'm still laughing and I read this hours ago  !!!!

[Garfish]

Am up in the bay soon, which shop sold the burger,

[Jeepers Creepers]

The one near the post office...... 

Ya know the worst part...... its a bloody true story.

Let me know when ya up Garfish.

[gclan]

So glad my hubby won't read this. I wouldn't like my chances

[Pebble]

I was debating weather to show Hubby this thread because he'd find it funny, but then I got to thinking, he's worth more than me   

[JU5T1N]

My beer wench gos pretty hard on the fang too

a soft nibbles ok but no hard bites......oops side tracked