Friday Funnies!

[StrvnMrvn]

Hi Swaggers,

Just starting a thread for the Friday Funnies! Yep, those inspirational posters you get whilst at work from your mates or even if you find it yourself!

I'll start it off and hope it keeps on going!



Strvy

[Turbojohn]

The ones that usually get sent to me would be removed by the mods and I would be kicked out if I were to post them up

[StrvnMrvn]

It's Friday!!

[Pebble]

Advice from Dr Chang

Q: Doctor,  I've heard that  cardiovascular exercise can prolong life.  Is this true?
A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise.  Everything wear out eventually.  Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster.  Want to live longer?  Take nap.


Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A:  No, not at all.  Wine made from fruit.  Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way.  Beer also made of grain.  Bottom up!


Q: How  can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one.  If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.


Q: What  are some of  the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of single one, sorry.  My philosophy is: No pain...good!
     
Q:  Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A:  YOU NOT LISTENING!  Food are fried these day in vegetable oil..  In fact, they permeated by it.  How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!?


Q:  Will  sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not!  When you exercise muscle, it get bigger.  You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.


Q:  Is chocolate bad for me?
A:  Are you crazy?!?  HEL-LO-O!!  Cocoa bean!  Another vegetable!  It best feel-good food around!


Q:  Is swimming good for your figure?
A:  If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me..


Q:  Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A:  Hey!  'Round' is shape!


Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.


And  remember:


Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"

[HnD]

I'm with you Pebbles... Working on that slow skid with the chardy in hand...mind you, isnt alcohol a preservative? I should be looking cracking!!

[speewa158]

My doctors have told my to mod er ate i( can't evrn spell it ) in beers in take to 2 a day . So l am taking their advise , all 4 said the same thing & l have 1 or 2  extra for being such a good boy , following there advise . Geez you get thruogh a heap of cans though 

[thommo19]

I'm with pebbles

[StrvnMrvn]

Well it's Friday again! One for anyone with a dog!!

[StrvnMrvn]

And another!

[evolution]

lol

[StrvnMrvn]

Friday again....

[berlitza]

ya its a cat