Christmas Funnies ( G rated please )

[Bird]

[POD]

Got the whole family over for Christmas, Lost?

[UTE 701]

Here's a Christmas Card , I'm guessing quite a few will like .....

[Hairs]

 

[Bird]

White Trash Christmas

[gunna]

Merry Xmas
sheeds

[UTE 701]

Hey Billy Bob , ya'll wanna see a picher of our tree ? 

[Mace]

Hey Billy Bob , ya'll wanna see a picher of our tree ? 

Is that out the front of Black Diamonds Shop?

mate.

Mace

[Hal Harvey]

[speewa158]

Is that out the front of Black Diamonds Shop?

mate.

Mace

Might be a bit HiTeck for him , I could be the Teck advisop for the right amount of cans ofcourse 

[OzJeeper]

'Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house I searched for the tools to hand to my spouse.

Instructions were studied and we were inspired, in hope we could manage "Some Assembly Required."

The children were quiet (not asleep) in their beds, while Dad and I faced the evening with dread:

A kitchen, two bikes, Barbie's town house to boot and, thanks to Grandpa, a train with a toot!

We opened the boxes, my heart skipped a beat...Let no parts be missing or parts incomplete.

Too late for last-minute returns or replacement; if we can't get it right, it goes in the basement

When what to my worrying eyes should appear, but 50 sheets of directions, concise, but not clear,

With each part numbered and every slot named, so if we failed, only we could be blamed.

More rapid than eagles the parts then fell out, All over the carpet they were scattered about.

"Now bolt it! Now twist it! Attach it right there, slide on the seats, and staple the stair!

Hammer the shelves, and nail to the stand. "Honey," said hubby, "you just glued my hand."

And then in a twinkling, I knew for a fact. That all the toy dealers had indeed made a pact

To keep parents busy all Christmas Eve night. With "assembly required" till morning's first light.

We spoke not a word, but kept bent at our work, till our eyes, they went bleary; our fingers all hurt.

The coffee went cold and the night, it wore thin, before we attached the last rod and last pin.

Then laying the tools away in the chest, we fell into bed for a well-deserved rest.

But I said to my husband just before I passed out, "This will be the best Christmas, without any doubt.

Tomorrow we'll cheer, let the holiday ring, and not have to run to the store for a thing!

We did it! We did it! The toys are all set for the perfect, most perfect, Christmas, I bet!"

Then off to dreamland and sweet repose I gratefully went, though I suppose there's something to say for those self-deluded...

I'd forgotten that batteries are never ever included!

[outback jack]

Is that out the front of Black Diamonds Shop?

mate.

Mace

don't think so, i can't see any empty jd cans on the ground 

[speewa158]

don't think so, i can't see any empty jd cans on the ground 

Jack dont be rude his highly trained staff collected then to get the Xmas bonus for cash a can , I hear they did very well indeed 

[UTE 701]

I think this will be my last Christmas Funny Photo ...

I hope you all got a few laughs ..... Let's do it again next year :