Muslim Suicide Bombers in Britain are Set to Begin a 3 Day Strike.

[Jeepers Creepers]

BBC NEWS

Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.

The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death would be cut by 25% this February from 72 to 54. A spokesman said increases in recent years in the number of suicide bombings has resulted in a shortage of virgins in the afterlife.

The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs (or B.O.O.M.) responded with a statement saying the move was unacceptable to its members and called for a strike vote. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return but to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth".

Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands, Al Qaeda chief executive Haisheet Mapants explained, "I sympathize with our workers concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace. Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditures or laying people off. I don't like cutting benefits but I'd hate to have to tell 3,000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up.

Spokespersons for the union in the North East of England, Ireland, Wales and the entire Australian continent stated that the change would not hurt their membership as there are so few virgins in their areas anyway.

According to some industry sources, the recent drop in the number of suicide bombings has been attributed to the emergence of Scottish singing star, Susan Boyle. Many Muslim jihadists now know what a virgin looks like and have reconsidered their benefit packages.

[BigJules]

Paraphrasing my favourite line from M*A*S*H "if we had more guys like them, we'd have less guys like them".

[speewa158]

Hang on a bit  .         Just who wants to spend Eternity with a huge bunch of unskilled labor that you have to train up to a standard that they will determin as they go along . Somebody has to explain PMT  X 70 to some young  Bloke . Geeezzzz l wont do it no matter the deal .       Are you with me 

[xcvator]

Are they like this
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/GsElecvWXu0?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[Bunyip]

Gotta love Achmed

[UIZ733]

Gold.

[MDSimpson]

^^ Plus one millionty ^^

[briann532]

I know it states they get their virgins, but it doesn't say anywhere that they are "female"..............

[Jeepers Creepers]

Your not batting for the wrong team there, are you Briann532? 

I'm thinking you came from a rich family too, what with having an extra n in your name..... bit fancy for round these parts stranger.

[briann532]

I don't bat for the other side, I just fill in when they're busy

Nah mate, married with two kids and tend to like women.

I'm just hoping the bomb chucker wierdos get the shock of their life when their promised "virgins" await...........

As for the double nn - I wish I was rich.
Last name starts with n as well and it was the same login from a past forum, so I just kept it.

Don't tell anyone though. Everyones convinced I'm strange - I am a sparky after all 

have fun

Brian

[Jeepers Creepers]

I'm a bit gun shy this week, i snagged a mowing job and the owner is a trannie.

Looks like a bloke, sounds like a bloke, but has boobs and dresses like a chick. Gunna be checking over my shoulder before i bend over to empty the catcher at this place.

[grafy82]

Be careful Jeepers, his partner might be mad at you for "cutting his grass".

[Turbojohn]

You'll be right mate just make sure you put on your asbestos undies before you head round there 

[1HDT]

".....Haisheet Mapants...."  HAHAHAHAHAHAH

1HDT

[deepop]

".....Haisheet Mapants...."  HAHAHAHAHAHAH

1HDT

I picked up on that one too.   Unfortunate name hey?

[Matto]

Maybe they just need to re-evaluate their recruitment process. Plenty of virgins here:



(don't worry - it's not a real Star Trek convention. I can see at least two girls, so it must be a staged photo)

Cheers,
Matto

[Mace]

not sure about the two in the centre! 

[Matto]

not sure about the two in the centre! 

I think the one on the left is Jeeper's new client.

Cheers,
Matto

[cancan]

I know it states they get their virgins, but it doesn't say anywhere that they are "female"..............

It doesn't say anywhere that they are human as well.....i did see a lot of goats when I lived in the Middle east