Fifty Sheds of Grey

[UIZ733]

Fifty "Sheds" Of Grey

The novel "Fifty Shades Of Grey" has seduced women – and baffled blokes.
Now a spoof, Fifty Sheds Of Grey, offers a treat for the men. The book has
author Colin Grey recounting his love encounters at the bottom of the
garden. Here are some extracts...

Fifty Sheds Of Grey

We tried various positions – round the back, on the side, up against a
wall...
but in the end we came to the conclusion the bottom of the garden was the
only place for a good shed.


She stood before me, trembling in my shed.
"I'm yours for the night," she gasped, "You can do whatever you want with
me."
So I took her to Bunning's.


She knelt before me on the shed floor and tugged gently at first, then
harder until finally it came.
I moaned with pleasure. Now for the other boot.


Ever since she read THAT book, I've had to buy all kinds of ropes, chains
and shackles.
She still manages to get into the shed, though.


"Put on this rubber suit and mask," I instructed, calmly.
"Mmmm, kinky!" she purred.
"Yes," I said, "You can't be too careful with all that asbestos in the shed
roof."

"I'm a very naughty girl," she said, biting her lip. "I need to be
punished."
So I invited my mum to stay for the weekend.


"Harder!" she cried, gripping the workbench tightly. "Harder!"
"Okay," I said. "What's the gross national product of Nicaragua?"


I lay back exhausted, gazing happily out of the shed window.
Despite my concerns about my inexperience, my rhubarb had come up a treat.


"Are you sure you can take the pain?" she demanded, brandishing stilettos.
"I think so," I gulped. "Here we go, then," she said, and showed me the
receipt.


"Hurt me!" she begged, raising her skirt as she bent over my workbench.
"Very well," I replied. "You've got fat ankles and no dress sense."


"Are you sure you want this?" I asked. "When I'm done, you won't be able to
sit down for weeks."
She nodded.
"Okay," I said, putting the three-piece suite on eBay.

"Punish me!" she cried. "Make me suffer like only a real man can!"
"Very well," I replied, leaving the toilet seat up.


"Pleasure and pain can be experienced simultaneously," she said, gently
massaging my back as we listened to her Coldplay CD.

[Black-Pig]

Here you go as  I thought I would add one!

[BigJules]

Crackers!

[faulky]

That's gold 

[DannyG]

LOL My wife bought those books....when ever she was reading them she had this look of guilt on her face and she was suggesting an 'early night' more often than not if you know what I mean!! It got so bad I have hid book 2 and 3 from her

[BigJules]

LOL My wife bought those books....when ever she was reading them she had this look of guilt on her face and she was suggesting an 'early night' more often than not if you know what I mean!! It got so bad I have hid book 2 and 3 from her

When that sort of thing starts to impact on your myswag time, man has to do what a man has to do...

[Swannie]

Now that brightened up my day.. 

Swannie

[gibbo301]

Funny sh!t 

[bunyip]

ROFL

[WilSurf]

A friend of us bought this book for someone who was going away for 2 months.............................to Saudi.

She left the book home.

[liney]

Absolutely brilliant.

[Trex_s4m1]

that was priceless.. im laughing hard at work.

[brickiematt]

Pisser Very clever! !

LOL My wife bought those books....when ever she was reading them she had this look of guilt on her face and she was suggesting an 'early night' more often than not if you know what I mean!! It got so bad I have hid book 2 and 3 from her

My wife's read all three........problem is, nothing's changed

[xcvator]

Pisser Very clever! !

My wife's read all three........problem is, nothing's changed

Not surprising seeing as how you mentioned shackles and things in another thread 

[Muttley]

Hahahahahaha  Classic!!

[spargo]

More here.. https://twitter.com/50ShedsofGrey

[BigJules]

More here.. https://twitter.com/50ShedsofGrey

Thank you, PMSL

[fuji]

Pisser Very clever! !

My wife's read all three........problem is, nothing's changed

That's what I never bought the series for the missus as it would be a waste of time and money.

[Jeepers Creepers]

Not surprising seeing as how you mentioned shackles and things in another thread 

Thats not mentioning your poor looks either....

[Mallory Black]

bet the flies on your wall have plenty to look at Mr Jeepers!!!

[JCAT]

LMFAO


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk HD

[Paul (SA)]

I don't get it.... 

[ewwreckers]

read the books...and 50 sheds is much better lmao
Want a real reaction though, buy one of the books and some rope....poor check out chick went 50 shades of red 

[krisandkev]

Yep, my wife bought the set. I tried to read them, got 3/4 through the first and thought it was a load of cr*p.  I gave up.  I have to add the following, sorry.... 




FIFTY SHADES OF ................

You appeared from nowhere and shamelessly, without any reservations,

You laid on my naked body...you sensed my indifference, so you applied

Your hungry mouth to me without any guilt or humiliation, and you

Drove me near crazy while you drained me.


Finally, I drifted off to sleep.

Today when I awoke, you were gone, I searched for you but to no avail,

Only the sheets bore witness to last night's events.

My body still bears faint marks of your enthusiastic ravishing, making

It all the more difficult to forget you.


Tonight, I will remain awake, waiting for you........


   F...ing mosquito!

[ewwreckers]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!