Favourite sayings, quotes or philosophies What's yours?

[Barrabart]

Everyone has a favourite, or maybe has heard others that are just dead set classics…….  Often they are used in a most spectacular fashion at precisely the right moment
I’ll kick it off with a few I like to use and a few I’ve heard, I’ll probably think of more over the next few days………

Describing those that aren’t so clever,

“Mate, you make two thick planks look like a computer”
“You’re about as sharp as a bowling ball”
“Mate you must have two d*cks, cos you couldn’t get that silly tuggin’ on one”

For when you’re feelin’ crook.

“I feel like I've been eaten by a dingo, and crapped over a cliff.”


On a more serious note

The race is long,
Sometimes you’re ahead,
Sometimes you’re behind,
But in the end you realise, the race is only with yourself.

“Life is a hard teacher: It gives the test first and the lesson after."

“Life should not be measured by the amount of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath”
“Good things happen over time, great things happen all at once”

There’s a few to kick it off, looking forward to your replies………

[Manjimike]

I heard some elderly surfers on the ABC, say, 'I would rather be taken by a shark than a nursing home'

Cheers Mike

[Chippy76]

"All ice is thin, cross only when neccesary" - Buck Tilton

[dno]

Feel'n crook. = I think I've been baited.

Someone come's a cropper or stuffs up. = Didn't you see that was a di@chead trap.

And for the answer you didn't want to hear. = If i wanted to hear from an ars#hole i'd fart.

[spargo]

Do, or do not, there is no try..

[outback jack]

When people say "if only this or that happened"

The best response is

"IF YOUR AUNTIE HAD BALLS SHE'D BE YOUR UNCLE"

[Jon]

On crappy drivers-
"You couldnt drive a stick up a dog's behind with a frying pan."

On a busy life-
"I'm busier than a one legged bloke in an arse kicking competition"

On not so attractive people-
"Got a head like a beaten egg"

[DannyG]

One of my favourite quotes is by Theodore Roosevelt, however I first heard it in the movie 'The worlds fastest Indian'.

To me it is so fitting on many occasions in life. How many times have you been getting in and having ago at something or trying your hardest when there are always Eddie experts who seem to know better or people who want to criticise you for trying to do what your doing?


"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."

[Burnsy]

On quality of workmanship
"good enough for the girls you date"

[D4D]

If you have no expectations you're never disappointed

[Symon]

On planning - "Measure twice, cut once"

On effort - "The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, or knowledge, but rather in a lack of will"

On people - "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the universe"

[MattNQ]

"Sanity is over-rated" 

One of my favourites is Churchill. Biting wit & sarcasm combined with inspiration.
Here are a few..

“You can always count on Americans to do the right thing - after they've tried everything else.”
" We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English."
" The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter."
“ Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.”
" All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope"
" However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results."
" There is nothing more exhilarating than to be shot at without result"
" I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. "
" I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.”
" I started on a camel, and I will finish on a camel"

And of course one that we should never forget....

"Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few. "

[austastar]

Hi,

  "Ah nostalgia, it just ain't what it used to be."

cheers

[rockman]

When some guy really piss's you off ........."  your mother should have swallowed you " !

[duggie]

"toughen up princess"
" take a spoonfull of cement powder and toughen the f*%# up"
But my own favorite when thing are going pear shape in life is, " OUT OF BAD THERE IS GOOD" . No matter how bad things seem , if you look  or in time good will come from it.

[dno]

If you want to run with the big dogs, you carn't piss like a puppy!!

I'm not drunk, i can lie on the floor without hanging on.

Your good enough to be an Aussie.

Sh$t doesn't happen.   Ar#ehole's make it.

Any thing for free is good , as long as it's not sexually transmitted

And one from my old boss. The bank's will go broke, before me.

[jwb]

An old motto on "issues at work"

If your not part of the solution, then your part of the problem!

also on the point of "service"

The only difference between ordinary service and Extra ordinary service is just that little bit EXTRA

cheers

[WogsRus]

1) Speed doesn't kill, it's the sudden stop at the end
2) Power is how fast you hit the wall, torque is how far you take the wall with you
3) In the world of order, chaos rules
4) Clarkson," under-steers like a shopping trolley full of logs"
5) If at first you don't succeed give up let someone else do it.
6) If at first you don't succeed, you need a bigger hammer.
6) God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time
7) I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work
one of Churchills best -I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter

[Black Diamond]

One i use regularly on my workers.

You couldnt pick up a root in a brothel........

[Humbolt]

I use a slight variation:
You couldn't organise a root in a brothel

I also use:
You wouldn't hit water if you fell out of a boat
You wouldn't hit sand if you fell off a camel

[darren]

As per my sig

 Kill them all, let god sort it out....
 
And for those who like management seminars and get told  "There's no I in team" you can reply " No, but theres a U in fu*ckwit"

[Black Diamond]

As per my sig

 Kill them all, let god sort it out....
 
And for those who like management seminars and get told  "There's no I in team" you can reply " No, but theres a U in fu*ckwit"

Thats a good comeback, ill have to use that one   

As per my sig

If it has tits or wheels it will give you trouble..........

Not a truer word has been spoken   

[moonie80]

I was born with nothing, and I still have most of it !!!

[Teabag]

Better to be looking at it than looking for it.

Head like a bulldog licking piss off a thistle.

Better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it.

[Teabag]

I use a slight variation:
You couldn't organise a root in a brothel

Heard similar but the end has, with a pocket full of 50's.......