Another Joke Section

[Swannie]

Xcvator........ 

[rockman]

went to a meeting today
I farted and 3 people turned around and looked at me ...


I thought I was on ' The Voice "

[Robbo]

Diesel Fitter

Paddy and Mick were both laid off, so they went to the unemployment office. When asked his occupation,

Paddy answered, 'Knicker Stitcher.. I sew da elastic onto ladies' knickers and thongs..'

The clerk looked up Knicker Stitcher on his computer and, finding it classified as unskilled labour, he gave him £80 a week unemployment pay.

Mick was next in and when asked his occupation replied, 'Diesel Fitter.'

Since a diesel fitter was a skilled job, the clerk gave Mick £160 a week.

When Paddy found out he was furious.. He stormed back into the office to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting double his pay.

The clerk explained, 'Knicker Stitchers are unskilled labour and Diesel Fitters are skilled labour.'

'What skill?' yelled Paddy.. 'I sew da elastic on da knickers and thongs, then Mick puts 'em over his head and says: 'Yep, diesel fitter.'

[gutters]

LOL 

Robbo I almost spat my coffee all over the bloke sitting in front of me on the train. 

[scarpsD40]

A policeman knocked at my door yesterday.
He said, "A few of the neighbours are complaining about the music."
I said, "You're joking? It's only 7pm."
"I don't care if it's 1 in the afternoon," he replied. "One Direction are still ****!