MySwag.org The Off-road Camper Trailer Forum

....

KB

Would you fix the spelling in the title please, I think you'll find it's spelt GRANDMA

bloody hillbillies...........................

..

Don't get me started on the difference between jealousy and envy. When asked if I'm jealous because someone has something nice I often say, no, I am envious...

1. The bandage was wound around the wound.
2. The farm was used to produce produce.
3. The dump was so full it had to refuse more refuse.
4. We must polish the Polish furniture.
5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10. I did not object to the object.
11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12.There was a row among the oarsman about how to row.
13. The buck does funny things when the does are present.
14. They were too close to the door to close it.
15. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
16. The patient patient waited hours to see the doctor.
17. I shed a tear upon seeing a tear in the annexe.
18. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

Lets face it, English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England nor French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write, but fingers do not fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, two geese. So one moose, two meese? One index, two indicies? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you can comb through annals of history but not a single annal? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

(information stolen from a bar mat at Shenanigans Pub- Darwin)

Lol......FFS......youse guys are hilhairiarse;D

Don't need to worry.......
I have a spell checker......

Eye Halve a Spelling Chequer

It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
A checker is a bless sing,
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps me right awl stiles two reed,
And aides me when aye rime.
Each frays come posed up on my screen,
Eye trussed to bee a joule;
The checker pours o'er every word,
To cheque sum spelling rule.
Be fore a veiling checkers
Hour spelling mite decline,
And if were lacks or have a laps,
We wood be maid to wine.
Butt now bee cause my spelling
Is checked with such grate flare,
Their are know faults with in my cite,
Of non eye am a wear.
Now spelling does knot phase me,
It does knot bring a tier.
My pay purrs awl due glad den with wrapped words fare as hear.
To rite with care is quite a feet
Of witch won should be proud.
And wee mussed dew the best wee can,
Sew flaws are knot aloud.
Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rarely ever wrong.
Sow ewe can sea why aye dew prays
Such soft ware four pea seas.
And why I brake in two averse
By righting want too pleas.
Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect in it's weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.

Why do we chop a tree down,
Then we chop it up ???

Why are resign and re-sign so close but they are basically opposites ?

Do we really give a shi*.......or is that spelt  *hit.....or sh** ??   ;D ;D....or do we   :'( :'(....... :cheers:

I love youse allll

Swannie

Quote from: swannie on December 08, 2015, 08:12:29 PM
I love youse allll

Swannie

You's...U's....yoos....ewes??

How can you get loose and lose mixed up? They don't even sound the same!

Quote from: GeoffA on December 08, 2015, 08:42:20 PM
You's...U's....yoos....ewes??

It's the NZ influence again  ;D ;D

Quote from: plusnq on December 08, 2015, 08:54:45 PM
It's the NZ influence again  ;D ;D

:-X :-X

Quote from: raider on December 08, 2015, 08:04:28 PM
Why are resign and re-sign so close but they are basically opposites ?

How many media releases from sporting clubs have been ruined by this mistake.



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If you are already tired why would you want to retire?

Sit down and buckle up folks

This is going to get better. ;D ;D

Is it Tamata or Tomata  >:D

Is correct spelling that important ?

Aoccdrnig to a rseecharer at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it Deosn't mttaer in what order the ltteers in a word are, the olny iprmoatnt thing is that the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it wouthit a porbelm. This is bcuseae the human mind deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a wlohe.

Prtety fcuikng amzanin huh ?!

Yes in many cases the true meaning can be understood with the wrong spelling, but in other cases it is critical.
If someone were to put a thread heading "solar panel advice", they are asking for people to help them.
If the heading reads "solar panel advise", they are giving information.
Yes I do believe that correct spelling and grammar are important.

Their, there and they're

Then and than

It's not that hard!

I find that free flow writing and intentional misspelling of words often adds to the impact of the message. Wat u say Tonto.

Is grammar and spelling important?
If you are on a work contract in your place of employment, and were asked to resign/re-sign it may be of some importance.

Quote from: tk421 on December 09, 2015, 04:49:12 PM

It's not that hard!

That's what me wife said da ova knight when we was tryin to get da wrinkles outta Mr Wobbly.

Is was prurdy embarissning too..... I could'nd fink of any 1 sexy except me self.......

Lucky 4me, that's all it took.  >:D

I area engineer, I dont jneed ta spel goodly

This sort of thing has beenmentioned b4  >:D

http://www.myswag.org/index.php?topic=39958.msg654660#msg654660 (http://www.myswag.org/index.php?topic=39958.msg654660#msg654660)

Weird Al's take on bad grammar  ;D

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Gv0H-vPoDc&feature=player_detailpage (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Gv0H-vPoDc&feature=player_detailpage)

ts fnny hw y cn ndrstnd thngs vn whn thyr splt ncrrctly  ;)

You left one off -
Grammar Nazi - means a pedantic person who can fully understand what the person typed but takes huge affront about the slightest grammatical error and believes they must appease the Grammar gods by berating the offender or the world as we know it will come to an abrupt end.

>:D

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If your brakes break while driving then you need your brakes, you are bound to hit something and break it.

 He took the road to the beach, jumped into a dinghy & rowed toward the ship, of which he could see it's rode .
He knew he shouldn't row as that would start a row with his wife ,who was in the third row of onlookers.

Whats that on the road, a head?

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I went through countless red pens >:D working for one company because the secretary, a family friend of the boss, couldn't spell. Her excuse was 'the teachers said it doesn't matter how I spell something as long the other person knows what I'm trying to say'. WTF ???  It drove me insane.

the ghoti swims in the sea......

gh pronounced as in tough
o pronounced as in women
ti pronounced as in nation

Why does 'ph' always say 'f' except for in Phuket?

One of my favourites, apologies if it has been mentioned.

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Quote from: grafy82 on December 10, 2015, 05:58:29 PM
Why does 'ph' always say 'f' except for in Phuket?

Because Phuket, isn't English

some how ended up a double post

Quote from: alnjan on December 10, 2015, 10:01:40 PM
some how ended up a double post

....somehow.....

Quote from: gclan on December 10, 2015, 04:22:50 PM
I went through countless red pens >:D working for one company because the secretary, a family friend of the boss, couldn't spell. Her excuse was 'the teachers said it doesn't matter how I spell something as long the other person knows what I'm trying to say'. WTF ???  It drove me insane.

There is a whole generation of kids with that learnin'. My sister is a shocker, a few years after me a school (and a different state) and they completely ignored the basics of spelling for her. My wife still struggle, despite being a teacher, because she wasn't taught in school and had to learn once back at uni.

Quote from: NewieCamper on December 11, 2015, 07:54:30 AM
There is a whole generation of kids with that learnin'. My sister is a shocker, a few years after me a school (and a different state) and they completely ignored the basics of spelling for her. My wife still struggle, despite being a teacher, because she wasn't taught in school and had to learn once back at uni.

I have suffered a lifelong disadvantage because of the poor excuse for english they taught in Qld schools when I was there.

Quote from: alnjan on December 10, 2015, 09:12:53 PM
Because Phuket, isn't English

Phuket, that carn't be right?  :angel:  ;D

Foo

Quote from: grafy82 on December 10, 2015, 05:58:29 PM
Why does 'ph' always say 'f' except for in Phuket?

Speaking of place names, how do you pronounce this one:
Taumatawhakatangi­hangakoauauotamatea­turipukakapikimaunga­horonukupokaiwhen­uakitanatahu?
or these: Whakatane & Whakapapa?
Gotta love the K1w1's for a sense of humour.

Quote from: NewieCamper on December 11, 2015, 07:54:30 AM
There is a whole generation of kids with that learnin'. My sister is a shocker, a few years after me a school (and a different state) and they completely ignored the basics of spelling for her. My wife still struggle, despite being a teacher, because she wasn't taught in school and had to learn once back at uni.

Did you actually read your post ? If not, have another read !   ;D ;D ;D

Quote from: gronk on December 14, 2015, 09:44:44 AM
Did you actually read your post ? If not, have another read !   ;D ;D ;D

Maybe the main problem is with proof reading.
I struggle with fat fingers, dyslexia and a dodgy keyboard, so reread and correct if I find mistakes (not perfect, but I'm only a sums teacher - or was.)

Quote from: Hewy54 on December 14, 2015, 10:33:45 AM

a dodgy keyboard,

Of course.....the other two were a good excuse, but a dodgy keyboard ??   ;D ;D

What I would like to know, is if KB helped his Uncle, Jack, off a horse, or helped his uncle jack off a horse?

Kinky Bovine?    :)   

But at least Mr Ed has the power of speech - wit and opinion ... 

LOL

:)      :)     :)

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Quote from: GUEY on December 14, 2015, 11:32:10 AM
What I would like to know, is if KB helped his Uncle, Jack, off a horse, or helped his uncle jack off a horse?

Why ya picking on me  :'(

KB

Quote from: KingBilly on December 14, 2015, 12:17:28 PM
Why ya picking on me  :'(

KB

It was a misspelling... ;)

The humble comma (or is it coma) can turn a koala into a gangster.
The koala eats, shoots and leaves.

Quote from: Chappie on December 14, 2015, 03:03:19 PM
The humble comma (or is it coma) can turn a koala into a gangster.
The koala eats, roots,  shoots and leaves.

fixed

Let's eat Grandma.
Let's eat, Grandma.
Commas save lives.

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Pretty clear for me

Yep

Lol...

I saw something in a daily paper the other day mentioning how a "Cheater tricked wife blah blah blah."

I would consider someone who cheated a "Cheat!"
I don't think I've ever seen the word "Cheater" before this, only "Cheetah."

(How was Tarzans monkeys name spelt?)

The Herald Sun newspaper (online edition) is full of spelling and grammatical errors on a daily basis, whoever the editor in chief of that place is needs a big brown envelope that containing a "don't come Monday" letter inside. 

With all this rain about, one wonders whether the wether will weather the weather?

Quote from: GBC on February 22, 2016, 05:05:55 PM
With all this rain about, one wonders whether the wether will weather the weather?

baaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

A pair of pants! Can you get just one pant (to wear)?   

If a dog pants can he also pant?   What about when he's panting?

I dont understand what your arksing. Could you please be more pacific??

Quote from: Hewy54 on December 09, 2015, 04:34:51 PM
Yes in many cases the true meaning can be understood with the wrong spelling, but in other cases it is critical.
Yes I do believe that correct spelling and grammar are important.

Even when written correctly it can still be open to interpretation. For example, you can spell correctly and understand the use of grammar, why would you need a lawyer.
So I ask, is interpretation of what has been written more important than spelling and grammar?

I know a few wealthy people that can not spell or read very well let alone use grammar correctly but they can count very well and know how to build their wealth.

Quote from: GeoffA on February 23, 2016, 08:42:05 PM
I dont understand what your arksing. Could you please be more pacific??

He wants to know if he can get into ya pants!  ;D  :angel:

Foo

Quote from: cruiser 91 on February 24, 2016, 12:37:33 AM
Even when written correctly it can still be open to interpretation. For example, you can spell correctly and understand the use of grammar, why would you need a lawyer.
So I ask, is interpretation of what has been written more important than spelling and grammar?

I know a few wealthy people that can not spell or read very well let alone use grammar correctly but they can count very well and know how to build their wealth.

It really depends on what you're trying to achieve. If I'm working through a pile of job applications (50+) those with a cover letter full of spelling and grammar errors get cut first.

Similarly if I'm evaluating a business to get some of my hard earned, if the website or brochures are full of errors then I'm suspicious about how much care is taken with whatever good or service they're selling.

Basically poor spelling and grammer  can undermine your message. It doesn't help when your wife is a proofreader ;)

I reckon spelling and grammar is important too, but grandpa gets a shoe in too and beer is importanterer.


;D