Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)

[GGV8Cruza]

HID lights have a lot of punch, do not touch the terminals when turned on

GG

[Mace]

There are some nuggets in here already.

If you're wondering if you hitched the camper/trailer on properly, you probably didn't.

Same goes for "did I lock  that rear tailgate?"

[brickiematt]

Number 1
- Do not leave keys in ignition when 2 children in car while taking groceries inside. Said 2 year old  decided to unstrap belt, climb in drivers seat, start ignition, put in reverse, drive through brick letter boz. across the road and into front neibours fence. Cost $5k

Number 2
- same said child, put wheat bag into microwave on high | microwave exploded out of wall cavity anf proceeded to blow toxic smoke through brand new 3 month house built.. All curtains, furniture etc that was porous needed to be replaced as did heating ducts and unit.. 1 month in motel. Cost $60k
Child bouncing in motel bed saying "daddy this is so much fun"

AAMI wanted to use him for a commercial

I have more but this is to we your appetites

Greg

PS all the above is the truth

Strewth Greg. I wouldn't let that particular child anywhere near your CT if i were you!! Is that letterbox fixed, cos i know a good brickie!!

[Swannie]

Matt letterbox fixed but might get you over to brick him into his room 

[brickiematt]

Matt letterbox fixed but might get you over to brick him into his room 

[heath74]

When up a ladder, using an 18v DeWalt with a 100mm hole saw to cut a hole in fascia for bathroom exhaust....

Be careful, the hole saw can bite, torque produced will spin the cordless around, wrench your arm and the base of the drill will hit you in the head.  It will hurt, you will see stars and fall form the ladder.

Just a tip for young players...

[Mace]

Matt letterbox fixed but might get you over to brick him into his room 

Are you taking this child camping??

How much did AAMI offer?

[Swannie]

Are you taking this child camping??

How much did AAMI offer?

Like father like son Mace.. unfortunately I kept my parents busy when I was young  . 
he's now nearly 10 and right into the cub scouts so forever away camping, doing knots all the stuff we loved doing.  The family are up doing the realy for life (cancer fundraiser as I type away ) he's doing a big part himself.. I'm on the graveyard shift walking through tonight.
When we catch up at melbourne cup weekend I'm sure he will tell you all about it!
His 21st will be a long event 
Greg

[taipan]

After hurting yourself on any piece of mechanical apparatus, do not kick said piece of mechanical apparatus wearing steel capped boots. The resulting pain and laughter from so called work mates is not worth it.

[fishfinder]

DO NOT Propose to the other half whilst your pissed and prove that your serious by placing it in writing - I woke up in the morning and saw the note I left on the table and still wondering how could have I drank so much

[Swannie]

DO NOT Propose to the other half whilst your pissed and prove that your serious by placing it in writing - I woke up in the morning and saw the note I left on the table and still wondering how could have I drank so much

Priceless

[xcvator]

When retrieving old fashioned steel rabbit traps and the pin is stuck in really hard DO NOT stand with your feet on either side of the pin while pulling coz when it finally comes out it can reeeeeeaaaaaly  huuuuurrrrrrrtttttt 

[LJs GU]

1. Dome tents without the outer fly DO NOT stop shadows being cast during 'nocturnal tent activities'.
2. If your camping neighbours grin at you the next morning, don't assume it's just because they're on holiday and happy.
LJ

[austastar]

Hi,
   Apparently it is not ok to use the Mrs' new digital scales to measure out fibre glass resin, even if you wrap them in a plastic bag.

I would have thought that was quite reasonable.

But not so!

cheers

[NewcastleKnight]

The Way It Goes Sometimes... Murphy's Laws
Murphy's Original Law
If there are two or more ways to do something, and one of those ways can result in a catastrophe, then someone will do it.  (Electical Threads)

Murphy's Law
If anything can go wrong -- it will.

Murphy's First Corollary
Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse (Some Myswag Threads)

Murphy's Second Corollary
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

Quantized Revision of Murphy's Law
Everything goes wrong all at once.

Murphy's Constant
Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.

The Murphy Philosophy
Smile... tomorrow will be worse.

The politically correct Murphys Law,

Murphy was a little unfortunate and it would not be fair to stigmatize him as such Murphy's Law is now known as An Unfortuate Event.

[NewcastleKnight]

Some may remember my tread concerning the emptying of portable toilets.

NEVER, that's right ever try and do the right thing and offer to empty someone's portaloo, in fact the said item is now banned in our camp!

[Hairs]

My late father taught me three things in life, many years ago.
1) Don't gamble what your can't afford to loose out of your back pocket.

2) Don't sell what you can't afford to buy.

3) It's the second hole front the back of the neck.

I'm doing alright 

Also, It's the 50/50/90 rule.
When you have a 50 -50 choice, 90% of the time you will choose wrong.

[HEM19X]

She SWMBO says "Just go ahead & do it" the correct action is DON"T DO IT......even if you really really want to.

When working on the 4by any tool/bolt/nut dropped in the engine bay will not fall to the ground but will lodge in the most inaccessable spot known to man...If the engine is hot, this will be very close to the exhaust.

[Mallory Black]

Learning a trade & in a trade
If you are not sure of someting ask 3 other more "qualified" guys what they think
If you get all 3 with the same answer then there must be something in it
if you get all 3 with different answers, keep looking for better guys to mentor you!

[morcon]

Don't let your mate leave an uncovered battery in the back of a trailer. And if you do, definitely don't let him pack the battery under the billy can, next to the firewood and behind the gas cylinder.

[Swannie]

Don't let your mate leave an uncovered battery in the back of a trailer. And if you do, definitely don't let him pack the battery under the billy can, next to the firewood and behind the gas cylinder.

HOLY Sh*t!!!!!!!!!!

Greg

[OzJeeper]

If I may refer to an earlier post and sort of do a correction.....to an "over 60's" joke....It's Never waste an erection and never trust a fart.

Well, that's how I heard it when I got my seniors card...

[speewa158]

When up a ladder, using an 18v DeWalt with a 100mm hole saw to cut a hole in fascia for bathroom exhaust....

Be careful, the hole saw can bite, torque produced will spin the cordless around, wrench your arm and the base of the drill will hit you in the head.  It will hurt, you will see stars and fall form the ladder.

Just a tip for young players...

Sooo is there a lesson here ,,,,, get somebody eles to do it  & watch

[macca]

Don't let your mate leave an uncovered battery in the back of a trailer. And if you do, definitely don't let him pack the battery under the billy can, next to the firewood and behind the gas cylinder.

That reminds me of another quote
"With friends like this, who needs enemies"

macca

[toad]

 5 rules to remember in life
1/ Money cannot buy happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle
2/ Forgive your enemy, but remember the bastard's name
3/ Help someone when they are in trouble and they'll remember you when they're in trouble again
4/ Always tell the truth, there's less to remember
5/ Reforming a Labor voter is like trying to pick up a turd by its clean end