Author Topic: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)  (Read 37135 times)

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Offline bullfrog

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Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« on: March 02, 2012, 09:02:18 PM »
Righto you lot, I reckon the place needs a bit of a lighten up. What with all the Political BS, doom & gloom sayers etc., I say it's time for a giggle. Keep it "on track" & we won't have to worry about getting stomped on by the Mods ( good folk that they are).
Now I'm sure  you all have learnt/ done things the hard (funny to others) way, so come on , spill it !!
I'll kick off.
#1... DON'T let the cook & #1 pack up the camper while you talk to another Swagger UNTIL you have checked that everything is out of the tent area before being folded up & ready to tow. "Where's the keys"??? "You just packed the f#@!$%ng thing & it's MY fault the keys are inside!!!!
#2..... I brought home a few crates of my late Fathers home brew, been sitting aging for a while as he couldn't drink grog towards the end. So I knocked off a few long necks of this high octane  juice. The boss (Tadpole) asks' 'How many of them have you had'. Apparently, "Not enough, you still look like your Mother" was the WRONG answer, dunno why.......
#3..... NEVER trust a fart....... :-[
 :cheers: Now it;s your turn
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Offline JCOJ

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Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #1 on: March 02, 2012, 09:15:17 PM »
Unplug your electical cord before folding the hard top over - otherwise you will just have to do it all again!!

Offline jk

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Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #2 on: March 02, 2012, 09:17:48 PM »
#3..... NEVER trust a fart.......That's Gold  :cup: ...........I love your wisdom old friend  :cheers:

Allan Jones once said, "criticism is only as valid as those who give it", .................now that's wisdom if ever I heard it  ;D
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Offline MarkGU

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Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #3 on: March 02, 2012, 09:23:29 PM »
Righto you lot, I reckon the place needs a bit of a lighten up. What with all the Political BS, doom & gloom sayers etc., I say it's time for a giggle. Keep it "on track" & we won't have to worry about getting stomped on by the Mods ( good folk that they are).
Now I'm sure  you all have learnt/ done things the hard (funny to others) way, so come on , spill it !!
I'll kick off.
#1... DON'T let the cook & #1 pack up the camper while you talk to another Swagger UNTIL you have checked that everything is out of the tent area before being folded up & ready to tow. "Where's the keys"??? "You just packed the f#@!$%ng thing & it's MY fault the keys are inside!!!!
#2..... I brought home a few crates of my late Fathers home brew, been sitting aging for a while as he couldn't drink grog towards the end. So I knocked off a few long necks of this high octane  juice. The boss (Tadpole) asks' 'How many of them have you had'. Apparently, "Not enough, you still look like your Mother" was the WRONG answer, dunno why.......
#3..... NEVER trust a fart....... :-[
 :cheers: Now it;s your turn
"#1... DON'T let the cook & #1 pack up the camper while you talk to another Swagger UNTIL you have checked that everything is out of the tent area before being folded up & ready to tow. "Where's the keys"??? "You just packed the f#@!$%ng thing & it's MY fault the keys are inside!!!!"................and get home b4 someone else does and put it on a camping site 4 all to see  :-*
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Offline bullfrog

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Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #4 on: March 02, 2012, 09:25:01 PM »
Johnno, (JK)if it put a smile on ya dial on a Friday night, what more can a Frog ask for??
I foresee many great gems coming forward from those who have done it the hard way. I tend to think a few may not have trusted too much a couple of Sundays back.... :cheers:
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Offline Mace

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Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #5 on: March 02, 2012, 09:28:47 PM »
So I knocked off a few long necks of this high octane  juice. The boss (Tadpole) asks' 'How many of them have you had'. Apparently, "Not enough, you still look like your Mother" was the WRONG answer, dunno why.......




Sounds like the time I referred to SHMBO and her three sisters (all in the same place, same time) to a mate as:

Look, the 4 ugly sisters, which one is cinderella?  That was 15 years ago, we're still married - 25 years now!!



« Last Edit: March 02, 2012, 09:34:37 PM by Mace »
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Offline bullfrog

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Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #6 on: March 02, 2012, 09:30:41 PM »
An old mate used to call tadpole, her mother & her aunty "lemon, lime & bitters". I think I was a bit slow on the pick up  ??? :cheers:
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Offline MarkGU

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Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #7 on: March 02, 2012, 09:30:56 PM »
The easiest way to find something lost is to buy a replacement.

Alcohol doesn’t solve any problem, but then, neither does milk.

Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to shoot them.

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Offline Mace

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Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #8 on: March 02, 2012, 09:37:41 PM »

The Way It Goes Sometimes... Murphy's Laws
Murphy's Original Law
If there are two or more ways to do something, and one of those ways can result in a catastrophe, then someone will do it.  (Electical Threads)

Murphy's Law
If anything can go wrong -- it will.

Murphy's First Corollary
Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse (Some Myswag Threads)

Murphy's Second Corollary
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

Quantized Revision of Murphy's Law
Everything goes wrong all at once.

Murphy's Constant
Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.

The Murphy Philosophy
Smile... tomorrow will be worse.
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Offline bullfrog

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Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #9 on: March 02, 2012, 09:38:14 PM »
GROG- Invented to make dumb blokes smart & ugly women lucky........
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Offline Black Diamond

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Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #10 on: March 02, 2012, 09:40:56 PM »
#3..... NEVER trust a fart.......That's Gold  :cup: ...........I love your wisdom old friend  :cheers:
;D
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Offline Mace

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Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #11 on: March 02, 2012, 09:45:42 PM »
When you are straining a fence wire  using wire strainers and have put a figure 8 join in nearby, when the pressure around your fingers gets really tight:

DONT KEEP CRANKING THE WIRE STRAINER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Offline bullfrog

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Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #12 on: March 02, 2012, 09:51:01 PM »
Sounds like the old standard for bolt tension.... strip it , then back 1/2 a turn. :cheers:
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Offline gunna

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Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #13 on: March 02, 2012, 10:01:43 PM »
Before filling up make sure u got the right Bowser & dont put 80lts of unleaded in your diesel like i did  :-[
 :cheers: sheeds

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Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #14 on: March 02, 2012, 11:34:48 PM »
'Tis better to undo your your fly at that point than to push on through the pain . . . . .
"Never trust an internet quote." - Thomas Jefferson

Offline POD

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Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #15 on: March 02, 2012, 11:51:27 PM »
No matter how quiet you think you are . . . . . her father will ALWAYS hear you.
"Never trust an internet quote." - Thomas Jefferson

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Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #16 on: March 02, 2012, 11:52:47 PM »
Testicles and soldering irons are natural enemies.
"Never trust an internet quote." - Thomas Jefferson

Offline Willow Girl

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Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #17 on: March 03, 2012, 02:54:58 AM »
A lesson learned by my then 14yr old brother ......never pee on an electric fence!  Luckily no permanent damage. He now has 3 boys.
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Offline speewa158

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Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #18 on: March 03, 2012, 05:28:59 AM »
Machines always tell you in their own way where not to put your fingers  ;D
Barbed wire has its own way of telling , you  " you did it wrong " ;D
Trees always grow 1m further away than the end of your winch cable   >:D
Who ever said " Things can only get better " wasnt on my last trip   >:D
Just cause it on the Internet it not true   ;D
Stop looking when you find what your looking for   ;D
 :cheers: is not the answer but it helps you forget the question  :cheers:   8)
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Offline Robertsons

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Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #19 on: March 03, 2012, 07:16:39 AM »
Never trust a fart.
Cracks me up  ???
Always planning our next trip before the current one is over;-)

Offline BigJules

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Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #20 on: March 03, 2012, 07:22:51 AM »
There are some nuggets in here already.

If you're wondering if you hitched the camper/trailer on properly, you probably didn't.
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Offline gibbo301

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Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #21 on: March 03, 2012, 07:31:48 AM »
When doing a oil change make sure you have put the sump plug in before refilling the oil  :-[ :-[

Offline brickiematt

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Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #22 on: March 03, 2012, 11:34:16 AM »
When the wife is searching for something to hang in the car window to keep the sun off the kids, dont suggest a pair of her undies >:D :o
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Offline macca

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Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #23 on: March 03, 2012, 11:42:58 AM »
When doing a oil change make sure you have put the sump plug in before refilling the oil  :-[ :-[

thats one every mechanic learns very early in his career :cheers:

cure the cause, not the effect

sh#t does'nt happen, its caused by @rseh#les

Offline Swannie

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Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #24 on: March 03, 2012, 11:58:42 AM »
Number 1
- Do not leave keys in ignition when 2 children in car while taking groceries inside. Said 2 year old  decided to unstrap belt, climb in drivers seat, start ignition, put in reverse, drive through brick letter boz. across the road and into front neibours fence. Cost $5k

Number 2
- same said child, put wheat bag into microwave on high | microwave exploded out of wall cavity anf proceeded to blow toxic smoke through brand new 3 month house built.. All curtains, furniture etc that was porous needed to be replaced as did heating ducts and unit.. 1 month in motel. Cost $60k
Child bouncing in motel bed saying "daddy this is so much fun"

AAMI wanted to use him for a commercial

I have more but this is to we your appetites

Greg

PS all the above is the truth
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