Sometimes things can't be helped....

[McGirr]

We all do it and its just the body's way of adjusting itself but I think last night I nearly killed my partner, Penny. Well that's what she told me. 

After a number of beers, can't remember how many, I fell into bed and settled into dreamland. I do remember hearing a noise during the night of someone gagging and feeling a mist of spray hitting me but fell back to sleep oblivious of the death and destruction I was causing.

Well the next morning. Didn't I cop it. "That was disgusting last night, I nearly died." Apparently I was snoring as well and when I stopped, another noise was heard that was followed by a vile smell that she thought smelt like something had died and was slowly rotting away.

I explained that it was not my fault but just my body expelling unwanted gases and as I was asleep I had no control. She reckons I took 5 years off her life and that she has no nose hairs left, they just melted. 

A text I received this morning:

You stop snoring, inhale deep, let go a big, loud, wet f#%t and... I kid you not, just continue snoring, oblivious to the death and destruction around you... You're evil!!! I swear your laughing at me in your dreams... Animal!!! I still love ya, but chute you are rotten...

I suppose a man has to do what a man has to do. 

Apparently I have to get more odour killing spray. Industrial strength stuff she reckons. 

Mark

[scarps]

Yup, a Dutch Oven

[Pog]

Going by this, I reckon I have taken 50 years off my wife's life each night for the last 14 years....

No wonder she looks so youthful - she should be thanking me!

[Symon]

Hey Mark, would you like some more onions?

[Black Diamond]

sounds all too familiar in my house only problem is my wife is as bad as me.

[muzza01]

That's gold

[Hodgies]

Yep .... have to agree with Penny here,
It's times like that in the middle of winter that you realise how little airflow there is inside the camper.
Fun times NOT lol

[DropBearRacing]

That's gold

X 2

[jk]

That's just wrong Mark.........................how could you do that to another human being  .


Symon........................I'll take another serving of those onions thanks   

[McGirr]

That's just wrong Mark.........................how could you do that to another human being  .


Symon........................I'll take another serving of those onions thanks   

I was waiting for your comments Mr JK.  Mate I have smelt some bad odours in my life but you win first prize. Mate you can strip paint, in fact I had to throw the mattress away, air the tent for weeks, burn some of my clothes and still have nightmares. 

It was like a mist that would flow down from the top of the camper to my camp stretcher. You could actually see it.

For those who don't know John and I shared a camper while traveling the Gulf last year.

Mark

[jk]

 

[TOPNDR]

Mrs T tells me she doesn't do it at night when asleep because one can't flatulate at night when asleep.   

[gonfishen]

Women don`t fart because they don`t stop talking long enough to build up any back pressure  LOL      RUN AND HIDE

[Black Diamond]

Women don`t fart because they don`t stop talking long enough to build up any back pressure  LOL      RUN AND HIDE

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL