MySwag.org The Off-road Camper Trailer Forum
General => General Discussion => Topic started by: edz on December 29, 2012, 12:15:42 AM
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Ok I break the half ton next week and the wife is four years junior to me and our youngest child is five oldest is 20...
Out and about at the local shopping center today, not once twice but three times got the "its disgusting people of your age having young children " type of comment from complete strangers, when they overheard our little one call us mum or dad.. all three were women in their mid 30's I guess..
I know Im no young dazzler but Im not exactly an old fart either and well the missus, lets just say the dealers wouldnt give me much off a trade in on a new one ..
Apart from giving them the old "youd do better to shut your mouth and keep your nose out of others bussiness, before I shut it and bust it for you " responce it kinder got me thinking , just wondering how many other late in life parents there are out there ??? and have you copped similar, this isnt the only time its happened over the past five years either.
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37 years old, no kids yet.
Probably a while before we do.
When, (if we can) we do have kids, after a couple, the youngest will be the same age and we'll be about the same age also.
Were also young at heart, so wont be 'old' parents.
No doubt your kids love you as much as you love your kids, so stuff them. They dont know crap.
Walk tall with head held high.
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Ok I break the half ton next week and the wife is four years junior to me and our youngest child is five oldest is 20...
Out and about at the local shopping center today, not once twice but three times got the "its disgusting people of your age having young children " type of comment from complete strangers, when they overheard our little one call us mum or dad.. all three were women in their mid 30's I guess
I would have opened with 'just cause you cant even get a test tube to breed with you' ' you CSGS'..
they would havfe died from a verbal abuse session to make a max security prison sound like church.. hang on, sound like somewhere people dont swear.
what the **** does it have to do with them.
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Dave copped it when he was a young tacker- his parents 'couldn't have kids', so adopted 2....and then somehow along came Dave when his Mum was 42 and his Dad 48. I have a good friend who has 23yrs between their 2 kids, as they too couldn't conceive again (apparently). People need to think before they speak!
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People need to think before they speak!
I agree.
And if it does not concern them then they need not speak at all as far as I am concerned.
I have 0 patience for people who stick their nose where it doesn't concern them. In fact I have been known to " go off the deep end on them" as my wife puts it...
Bill
And my oldest brother was 32 when my Dad remarried and had his last child. Talk about an age gap.
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I'm 57 with a 6 y.o. Not once have I heard anyone say that. None of their *****ing business anyway. My brother is 62 and they just had a little boy. Now that's old lol
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Some people never grow out of the school yard mentality, happens all the time with juvenile minds where anything out of the ordinary is condemned.
As long as older parents keep themselves healthy and up to date with modern society there should be no issue. And older parents just have to accept that the likelihood of them being grandparents one day is reduced. But yeah, everyone's circumstances in life are different, we should never judge others full stop whether they be older parents or whatever. Easier said than done.
I did read somewhere once that there is more chance of birth complications or defects for "older" mothers, maybe some people get over opinionated after reading/hearing this sort of thing, but in this case hey you've already popped them out and they are going great guns (I assume) so all good. What is most important is the kids are shown love and kindness and are raised to be responsible members of society.
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I'm 46, wife 36. We have a 7yo boy and just had a baby girl in July. A little late to be starting a family but it's my second time around (2 others 16 and 12 from previous marriage). The new baby comes as a result of my first wife moving away, depriving our boy of his brother and sister and essentially leaving him an only child. This wasn't our desire for him so now he has a little sister which he adores.
I was surprised to hear about strangers passing comment. If anyone is saying that about me then it's certainly not within earshot.
Having a young family does give me cause to look seriously at my fitness (diet, exercise,etc). They need a Dad that not only is alive for many years to come, but also healthy enough to participate!
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I'm an "age challenged" parent, 44yo with a 5 and 8 YO.
It's not until I started dropping kids off at kindy that I started realising that I was not on my own.
I think there is far less people having kids in their 20s than there were when my parents spat me out.
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I'm often reminded of Australia's last surviving Gallipoli veteran, Alec Campbell of Hobart Tas. (passed away 2002 aged 103). He had a large family fathering his last of his 9 children at age 69! I saw his youngest daughter interviewed on TV and she told of how she'd say in school that "my father was at Gallipoli". "No dear, you mean grandfather" the teacher would say, and she'd have to explain that it really was her father.
http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2002/05/17/1021544071207.html (http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2002/05/17/1021544071207.html)
69! what a legend. His daughter was nothing but proud of her Dad and felt not at all disadvantaged by having a parent so old.
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I'm in the same boat!
Give them a 'look', a contemptuous snort and move on!
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This is something that is on my mind at the moment as we're thinking about #2. We had our first when I was 40 and the missus was 35. We're thinking a 3-4 year gap but I am worried about being 'too' old. Sounds like there are a lot older new dads than me...
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None of anybodies business and they deserve to be told that. I reckon your children and a lot of others from older parents will be a lot better off than the more recent trend of teenage (children ) parents.
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We had our fourth when I was 44 with a spread of 17, 10, 5 and 2.
Age makes no real difference. The lack of sleep was a bigger killer was all.
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Mate maybe you just look really old ;). I wouldn't be concerned about others views. There is no doubt in my mind that I am a better parent now then I would have been in my 20s or 30s. It is the quality of parenting that matters, age is irrelevant.
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This is something that is on my mind at the moment as we're thinking about #2. We had our first when I was 40 and the missus was 35. We're thinking a 3-4 year gap but I am worried about being 'too' old. Sounds like there are a lot older new dads than me...
Just do it.
As for the age of parents nothing like a bit of life experience. F#ck the knockers.
Cheers Nomad.
:cheers:
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It seems as though there are a hell of a lot of us older parent types around.
As to keeping you young the little rats do that, the fit part needs a bit more attention by the end of the working week LOL.
The jibes from sensless sticky beaks gets up the nose at times, but the look on their face when you give them a burst is worth it, talk about shrinking viorlets ....
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.. all three were women in their mid 30's I guess..
Say no more ;D
Just ignore them.
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Its just means you are older and wiser and can teach your kids more about life first hand. A Lady i work with just had and unexpected suprise a few months ago, creating a 13 year gap between kidlets. A friend of the family also had an unexpected suprise at 49 with 25 years between 2nd child and 3rd child.
The cheeky answer...... just means you are the "traditional" age when you do/if become a grand parent too :angel:
I think its more common than you think, maybe just not "spoken" about as its still a little "taboo" but it is becoming more and more common.
Same as anything but, if you let it worry you, it will. If you get on with life, you will have a life.
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This is something that is on my mind at the moment as we're thinking about #2
just keep practising. ;D
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I'd tell them where to go.
No one elses business.
I could go on, but seem to feel that we have the same opinions as most on the forum.
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When I informed the oldies they were about to be grandparents we were told we were too young!!! I was 25 at the time....that was almost 17 years ago.
My dad was 39 when I came along - I suppose that was 'old' in 1970.
It's all relative to how you feel - enjoy it.
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I wouldn't worry about others opinion. I've 4 kids aged 21, 11, 6 and 4 and I'm 43 now. I reckon I'm a much better parent to my younger ones than I was to my eldest.
I'm also about to become a granddad at 43, is that too young?
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My parents were 52 and 50 respectively when l was bornded!
Only drawback was that l didn't have a drink in a pub with my father until he was 70. It was his first beer in a bar also:-)
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I'm 46, wife is 44. Our oldest (adopted) is 23 and our youngest (foster child) is 19mths with 5 in between.
You're only as old as you feel and the world needs more GOOD people in about 20 years time.
Sent from my GT-N7000 using Tapatalk 2
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There is no doubt in my mind that I am a better parent now then I would have been in my 20s or 30s. It is the quality of parenting that matters, age is irrelevant.
I agree.
If we could have kids before, Im not sure I would have been the best parent when I was in my 20s or early 30s.
Theres no way I would have the life experiences I have now, and can share and educate my children properly and correctly when I was younger.
I was probably not the best 20s year old, let alone being a father at that age.
Safe, stable, secure and balanced, were probably not the best way to describe me at a younger age, whereas now, its probably a better home and family environment to raise children.
I knew I was not fit to have children at a younger age.
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I reckon if the kids are raised in a loving and caring environment, it doesn't matter what age you have them.
We had our eldest when we were both 21 (missus was pregnant for her 21st!), now we're 37 with 16 and 12 year old daughters.
Are we better parents now than when they were born? Probably, but as they get older the style and challenges of parenting change. It's a bloody steep learning curve with a newborn no matter what your age ;D
Also, I can remember very well what 16 year old boys are like >:D ;D
There is no hard and fast rule for what age is best to become a parent, when the time's right, it's right, whenever that is.
:cheers:
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I think it depends what you want in life. Do you want kids early so that you can travel when they hopefully leave home or would you prefer to do this and then have kids.
One thing I know people who have kids understand the hardships in life rather then people who never have kids.
Mark
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If I had my time again, I would have them before 30yrs of age. ;)
Foo
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I think it depends what you want in life. Do you want kids early so that you can travel when they hopefully leave home or would you prefer to do this and then have kids.
One thing I know people who have kids understand the hardships in life rather then people who never have kids.
Mark
Very true Mark, We had our first son at 24 as we decided that we wanted to be young parents. He's now 10 and I have another 2 who are 8&2. Our friends are all now starting their families, have paid more of the mortgage and travelled where we are not just in a position to. I wouldn't change the way we decided but see advantages to starting a family early and later. Financially it was bloody tough.
Swannie
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I had my first when I was 40 followed by number 2 when I was 42.... my younger brother has grand children older than mine. .... have never had anyone say I was to old. .. maybe that is because I still look young and dashing. ... now where did I leave my beer
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Good discussion, i am 46 and my wife is 39, we are both very proud parents to our son Sam, who is 5, and our daughter, Neve, who is 18 months.
I would have to say that i was a bit apprehensive about it all, given my age, but also being around long enough to see them grow up and be happy.
We are both young at heart, so i think, its your business what you do, bugger what others think, and for what its worth, i would certainly let the idiot/idiots know exactly how i felt if i was to hear that sort of crap.
Swanny
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I've got two kids; a 9yo from my first marriage and a 21 month old. We're keen for another but I seemed to be away at the opportune moment for most of this year. I love being a dad, have always wanted a swag of kids but have put a time limit on another.
Good parents are good parents, no matter their age. I do encourage folks I know to have their kids younger, only so they get more time with them but I wouldn't begrudge anyone the joy of being a parent. Or all the stuff that sucks too :).
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One thing I know people who have kids understand the hardships in life rather then people who never have kids.
Mark
Sorry sir I have to disagree.
I'm one of twelve kids and at last count I had 27 nieces and nephews, and I would do anything for any of my family.
I also have 2 grown (now) step children.
I do not think that just because I have no kids of my own means I don't understand the hardships in life. Rather my understandings of the hardships in (my) life are what made me decide I never wanted children of my own.
Bill
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I think allot of people blow this out of proportion. I mean come ON!
Just because your older than some other parents,
Does that mean you won't love your children any more or any less than others?
Does that mean that you can't provide for your family?
Does that mean that you can't be there when they need you?
OF COURSE NOT!
Every family in Australia is different, with different values and morals and structure. What works for one, may not work for another.
I think for another person to put down another in relation to how their family is structured is just plain rude!
This sort of behaviour really gets me a little wound up because they are judging someone For something that is completely irrelevant!
Clearly the parents can shrug it off and have a laugh about how insecure the person must have been to say something like that, but what about the children?
What if they overhear what is said? why should they have to learn at such a young age that some other people are MO*#NS!
I wish every parent, young or old the best.
Cheers
Evo